Week 5: Extreme Sports, I guess.
Dody is an Indonesian with a knack for convincing me to take up extreme sports I'm bad at as hobbies and Ziyad, is a Moroccan who dances straight out of John Hughes' movies, and only understands one-eighth of the things I say. (In my defense, Wisconsin, I've taught him the 'Boo.. Hiss!' How's that for cultural assimilation?)
Since meeting these two people, my weekends have gotten exponentially more interesting. I've been introduced to the Egyptian late-night equivalent of "make-out point" except it involved more veiled girls silently staring out at the city and sexually frustrated men holding their hands than the USA version. Oh, and poor children selling flowers and raver glow sticks. You don't see that at America's make-out spots. I've eaten the head of shrimp, beans in a sauce of cheap oil, sat bitch in a car while 4 men over the age of 25 sang along to All for One's "I swear", they knew every word to the second verse long after my middle school memory failed me, took horse riding lessons where the 'gentlest' horse in the stable totally kicked my ass, ran the Alexandrian cornice at 7:30 a.m., got stale shit-ridden toilet water splashed on my heels courtesy of a three hour bus ride, slept in a office chair with no arms and ate really good mango ice cream.
This weekend they talked me into their latest adventure- Scuba Diving.
I don’t know if you know this, but Scuba Diving is scary.
The first two hours of the lesson consisted of some very simple points of information.
If you hold your breath your lungs will explode.
If you go down too quickly your sinuses will explode.
If you rise too fast, your lungs and sinuses will explode.
All in all, it sounds pretty fabulous doesn't it? While completely terrified, I'm also extremely excited at the idea that I can walk around and flash my scuba diving certification to men at parties.
"Hey there handsome, you want to dance with a girl who can breathe regularly and evenly, ensuring the necessary amount of oxygen reaches her lungs at even intervals?"
Okay, maybe it won't be as useful as I thought.
At least I'll be able to see the ruins under Alexandria. I might be sobbing with fear and trying to claw off my suit while submerged in 16 meters of dirty salt water at the time, but there will be a decrepit lighthouse!
Since meeting these two people, my weekends have gotten exponentially more interesting. I've been introduced to the Egyptian late-night equivalent of "make-out point" except it involved more veiled girls silently staring out at the city and sexually frustrated men holding their hands than the USA version. Oh, and poor children selling flowers and raver glow sticks. You don't see that at America's make-out spots. I've eaten the head of shrimp, beans in a sauce of cheap oil, sat bitch in a car while 4 men over the age of 25 sang along to All for One's "I swear", they knew every word to the second verse long after my middle school memory failed me, took horse riding lessons where the 'gentlest' horse in the stable totally kicked my ass, ran the Alexandrian cornice at 7:30 a.m., got stale shit-ridden toilet water splashed on my heels courtesy of a three hour bus ride, slept in a office chair with no arms and ate really good mango ice cream.
This weekend they talked me into their latest adventure- Scuba Diving.
I don’t know if you know this, but Scuba Diving is scary.
The first two hours of the lesson consisted of some very simple points of information.
If you hold your breath your lungs will explode.
If you go down too quickly your sinuses will explode.
If you rise too fast, your lungs and sinuses will explode.
All in all, it sounds pretty fabulous doesn't it? While completely terrified, I'm also extremely excited at the idea that I can walk around and flash my scuba diving certification to men at parties.
"Hey there handsome, you want to dance with a girl who can breathe regularly and evenly, ensuring the necessary amount of oxygen reaches her lungs at even intervals?"
Okay, maybe it won't be as useful as I thought.
At least I'll be able to see the ruins under Alexandria. I might be sobbing with fear and trying to claw off my suit while submerged in 16 meters of dirty salt water at the time, but there will be a decrepit lighthouse!
5 Comments:
Your parents will hate me :)
How about knitting classes after the scuba certification ?
Okay, you are really the most entertaining thing i have read this whole summer!
Is missing you too much to report?
Your adventure sounds quite wonderful, scuba diving permitting :)
Boo.. Hiss!
I understand you now.(When you write).
It was a great and long weekend.Wasn't it?
BTW, (:) where are my glasses? :)
hey, i think it sounds hot. i'd totally fall for it. all it means is you can make out with out coming up for air.
Diving is great - opens a whole new world to you
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